My Pregnancy Birth Experience at KKH Subsidized

So I'm back to blog about my first time pregnancy and delivery experience before I forget about it. So currently I'm 1 month postpartum. This was few days before I popped. Decided to go for a random shoot to commemorate, only a few photos though and it's sponsored for but am really glad, because hardly have any photos with the husband. We met before the circuit breaker and only went for one short overseas trip for one day because back then he was so busy with work, and hardly had time. And then shortly after, circuit breaker 0.1 happened, and all the way it was staying at home, netflix, fastfood, and all our dates were to the supermarket (fml) or either to nature reserve parks to exercise because of the eating and getting fat. Shortly after, was pregnant, I was busy with work, hardly had any time to take photos, and also for the wedding, was so hectic, and fat, and busy. So only finally before giving birth, I had time for maternity leave to do such family stuff.

And look at my zebra husband, getting so torched by the sun. 

Love this photo :)

So the day I found out I was pregnant, the first thing that came up on my mind, was money. Because to me, I have many different pools of money for different purposes and for baby, my perception was if it's a joint thing it has to come from a joint fund which we didn't had because our relationship steered pretty quickly and we didn't did the financial planning and all together, I did for myself but I didn't do it together as a couple or family. So, I was naturally worried although I have some savings on my own, but as a first time mother, I don't know how much a baby costs. I heard of the costs from a lot of people, like you need 1 million to raise a kid, save endowment 2k a month etc, bla and blah. But to be honest, just like the lifestyle you expect, having a kid with different lifestyle is also possible. Just like the rich and the poor, it depends on what you can and cannot accept. Like some people only can stay in A-class wards, some people like me I'm ok with B or even C-class wards, I find it as an additional not a need so I'm completely fine with it. Some parents definitely want to send their kids to enrichment classes, tuitions, drink the best milk powder, have the best diapers, but I'm on the moderate side of things. Like some people like branded bags, I like to buy on taobao.

So after finding out I was pregnant, I went to those finance sites to write the average cost of how much a baby cost, how much you will get for baby bonus etc. And to be honest, if a couple is really in love with each other, it is easy to pass financial difficulties, you don't need a lot of money, it is the kind of lifestyle you want. For the baby, I didn't spend a single cent, in fact I still "profited" by having a baby. But yeah, will I have a baby again? Still kiv on my husband's performance whether he is a good responsible father and husband emotionally and financially. I will share about my experience on the birth first, and then the financial part of the baby. I guess financial is the concern that a lot of young parents have.

My EDD (expected-due/delivery-date) was on 3 May 2021. On 1st May, I wanted to head for a nice breather - for a movie or something before I popped, after being copped at home for many months and days, because after I give birth, it will be one month confinement at home. But apparently, the husband was sleeping the whole day that day and I got really mad, because he was pulling all nighters playing his phone, playing game (boys being boys - roll eyes) . I even did my eyelashes the day before. So on 2nd May, we went to Ikea at night to eat some of my fav chicken wings, meatball and head home. That time I was having like really small mini period cramps every 3-5 mins, I thought, so is this giving birth? It was super bearable, but I think back then it was called braxton hicks or something - totally no kick at all. 

Then on 3rd May, it was my due date. I was getting kinda worried, at the same time, I wanted to expel the baby out of my body for overstaying haha, I'm definitely not taking another day with big stomach and feeling nauseous after full 40 weeks, not even 1 day. So as usual, the husband woke up only at 3pm again zz. Did my final bath, still no symptoms, nothing at all. Waterbag not burst also. I started to be abit over-anxious because all my friends had already given birth and I had close to 0 symptoms. So after bathing, I dragged the hubby to KKH delivery, we called the hospital before going down and they said can come anytime. The husband even joked about going to watch a movie while waiting for me to dilate, and I heard some husbands slept through while their wife gave birth. What? Ok, so back to the story.. 

I reached KKH about 5pm, went to get some dinner and then the nurse put this belt on me to check the heartbeat. Some doctor came in, stuffed her fingers into my vagina to check my cervix, 1cm. (i swear this was super uncomfortable and really painful af) After she stuffed her fingers in, I bled like my period starting like that. It just wasn't comfortable with someone stuffing their fingers into your vagina until all the way up to your cervix, that was pretty deep. The feeling is like someone stuffing their fingers into your belly and twisting at one direction. Pain and uncomfortable. And that was a must to check your dilation. So I admitted into the ward around 7-8+pm and the nurse said hubby couldn't stay, only A-class ward can stay and I'm of course not paying 2k+ cash for him to sleep beside me in the hospital. So I told him to go back home but he didn't want, he wanted to wait downstairs for me, silly boy. So after awhile, my friend told me to ask for epidural straight. At that time I had no symptoms too, no contractions, maybe just a little uncomfortable and very mini contractions but very very bearable. And you have to dilate till 2-3cm before you can administer epidural. And if it's 4cm, you can't do it anymore. So being the kiasu me I posted lots of shit on Instagram because I couldn't sleep it was too uncomfortable. My experienced mommy friends told me to lie to the nurse that I was in pain, and I'm so glad it speed up the process a lot. The doctor came to check my cervix another time before they could administer the epidural. So I faked pain, it was around 10pm, if not I had to wait till next morning 6-7am. And that was super many hours, I would have died by then. So lucky for I geng my pain, they told me no room but in the end I was sent to the delivery ward, solo-bedder, just like an A-class ward with aircon, and hubby could stay beside me. He still had the mood to walk to buy Macdonalds and secretly fed me before I had epidural (this guy just wants to murder me lol) By right, you not supposed to eat or drink anything before anesthesia. He is all sorts of rule breaker, and yeah fuck, I'm always wavered. Chicken nuggets and coke, how could I not? Food was the only thing that brought my pain away.

So then the real shit started, my contractions started to increase even more strongly, like the insides of your intestines was being twisted. It was no joke, and my back hurt like fuck, that kind of stabbing pain, super uncomfortable, everything I can still tahan the contractions and the backache, I just didn't want another doctor to stuff their fingers into my cervix anymore, especially not when I'm feeling uncomfortable. NOT AGAIN. So finally anesthetist was free around 5-6am after 3-4 patients before me. I was breathing using the laughing gas. At first, I tried it didn't had any effect, I was like, shit what kind of pain killer is this. And then I breathe more hard, I started to feel a little dizzy like you get seh in a club that kind. And if you breathe long enough, you will constantly feel seh. So whenever I had contractions while waiting for the epidural, I did the laughing gas. Before the epidural, my boss always joked how long and thick the needle was like a straw, but dude, I am definitely not looking at the needle. The epidural was my biggest fear, cos I'm doing natural. Followed by splitting of the vaginal, like tear and cuts. 

So when they administered the epidural, I was fucking damn afraid as I was conscious. I had done surgery in my life before, but 2 times was general anesthesia, never ever when I was so fully conscious. I breathed the laughing gas like crazy until I blacked out because I was so fucking nervous and scared. The laughing gas is kind of like the GA feeling. The last time I did GA, doctor told me to lie on the operation table, once I counted to 3, I blacked out and when I woke up everything was done and I didn't feel pain at all. So during the epidural, when I blacked out, all I hear is my name, and the monitor sound and the doctor calling me, the feeling was like when you're very dizzy and drunk and the voice is just like an angel or what calling you up. Very operation feel-ish. So I semi-blacked out, and I felt a sharp stinging pain on my spine, I'm so glad I had the laughing gas, all done. I have no idea how some women, do the whole birth process raw, without any epidural, or even without the laughing gas, putting the epidural alone without the laughing gas, I would scream for sure.

At around 8-9am, I was dilating around 5cm. Many doctors came in to check like 2-3 times, all females. I'm a very conservative person, but when at times of pain, like you're gonna die kind of pain, I don't think you'll care about how many person is looking at your vagina. My pain was so bad that even after administering epidural once, I still felt the contractions and epidural, so they had to double the dosage. They tried to induce me 2-3 times, and everytime baby's heartbeat dropped low like 70-80. I was starting to worry and get paranoid, like is baby ok? Is the baby ok? So when they did the last time, the 3rd time inducing by adding more medicine to induce, baby heartbeat dropped again, so they told me to do the caesarean, and you have to sign the terms and conditions, like you are aware of the risks of caesarean blah blah. 

I also had a bit of partial placenta abruption, meaning the placenta, the umbilical cord that was connecting the baby was breaking apart. Like I was already freaking out and worrying for the baby, and also being conscious and doing caesarean, and then suddenly they just went like, OK MAM WE ARE GOING TO PUSH YOU INTO OPERATION TABLE NOW, LIKE NOW. Like I didn't even have the time to get mentally prepared. SIR, PLEASE PACK YOUR BAGS, TAKE EVRYTHING. WE ARE GOING NOW. AND THEN THEY STARTED PUSHING ME OUT. Emergency caesarean, like bitch you don't even have a choice to choose between natural or not. I looked at the hubby and tried to hold my tears, uncontrollably, like this shit is getting real, and I told him 'you better save the baby' because every time I say if anything happens to me and the baby, YOU MUST CHOOSE THE BABY. I'm not even giving him an option to choose, but he says he'll choose me every time. Was really scared I was going to die. They wheeled me to the operation room straight, and it didn't help because I was fully conscious, and by then my lower half was numb but I was still freaking out because before that I felt the contractions before they increased the dosage. 

Many things running through my mind like, what if during the surgery, I felt the pain. Like will the baby be safe? And honestly, mostly is will I be feeling the pain if the epidural doesn't work? Like are you even professional? Should I have paid more? So when I was on the operation table, the surgeons were very nice and friendly and experienced, kept talking to me, making small talk, and I knew what they were doing, I was still histerical mode focusing on where they gonna cut me. It was May 4 already, the surgeon still joked with me 'May the Fourth/Force be with you' Star-wars day. So they started cutting, then ask me if I felt anything. I was so shocked, because I didn't felt anything. First pregnancy, of course you had some fear and expectations of how it felt like. It was actually my biggest fear. But the feeling was like someone drawing on my stomach. I didn't even dare to watch the video of the caesarean before the surgery because I was so sure I'm definitely going for natural birth? So if you say, are you going to choose between which? Always choose natural and with epidural. Because the recovery is definitely faster and you don't really have choice or chance to choose, for me.

 

And as usual, here's a video of the caesarean. I like to educate my viewers. So those for you who haven't gone through birth, don't watch it. Basically they cut open the stomach, several layers, using scapel and laser, and then a few layers of membrane and fats and skin, and then uterus, the womb or something used to hold the baby, take the baby out, take the placenta out, take the uterus out, sew it, put it back it, sew bac the stomach. Honestly I have no idea how I went through that entire procedure, having did nose surgery, jaw surgery, zygoma surgery, I can say caesarean is the most scariest. Firstly because I'm awake, and pain level, definitely the most painful for recovery period. The stomach, or abdomen is actually one of the largest and most important organ of the body besides the brain and the heart. So, it's actually considered life-and-death and a major surgery. Many women go through this birth process a year, and dude, cherish your wife, it's a frightening procedure!

So the baby is out! Is it over? NO. It is just the beginning of your nightmare... They put her on me for skin-to-skin contact during the surgery around 30mins. My first thought was like, ok, I'm glad she is not ugly, look okay. HAHA. And all five fingers and legs. OK THATS GOOD. My next thought was like, I just felt distant from this baby, because its like this thing just suddenly came out of my stomach and I felt very foreign. They were like congrats MAM, THIS IS YOUR BABY. MY THOUGHT: OH OKAY. Then thinking again, this baby actually quite cute. Ok lah. I GIVE BIRTH ONE, NOT BAD. I CAN FINALLY REST LIAO.

So they wheeled her out to don't know where while they sewed me back. Surgery took around 30-45 mins, but my epidural lasted longer than other people, which was good, because I didn't want to feel any pain, I couldn't even lift my legs. Around 3-4 hours later, they pushed me to the ward because I was supposedly able to lift my legs before I could go to the resting ward. I think normal people only took 1hr plus maybe to get the effects off?

So, parenthood journey begin. And all I thought was, I just have to focus on recovering but yeah, I'm supposed to take care of the baby as well. Perks of not having A-class ward, but also helps a lot if your husband will take care of the baby. So my stay was around 4 days, pretty long because caesarean, my BP was very low and they kept checking every 3-4 hours. Nobody tells you what you're supposed to do, parenthood doesn't come with a handbook. And even so, the brochures they give you, when you're tired and in pain, you won't even bother to read. First day, baby was super quiet, sleeping 24/7, a really sweet loving angel and cute. The nurses came every few hours check on me, feed the baby, change the diapers, so I thought ok, so this was going to be the service for entire 4 days. I just have to focus on recovering.

Second day or the third, after I slowly started to walk, they took the cathedral out (something that drains your pee) and I started to be more mobile on my own, they don't check you and your baby more frequently already. And I didn't even know baby needs to be fed every 3 hours, how to feed your baby, how to change the diapers. I was freaking out, hoping baby doesn't pee or especially poop before daddy comes. First day, I learned to feed baby with a cup, because KKH is pro-breastfeeding. Then I learned how to burp this small little thing. Slowly, I learnt to change the diapers too. And then on the fourth day before my discharge, my boobs started to clog. The first few days of hospital stay, when others are pumping and on the light, I was sleeping. The only con of staying in shared room is that they keep on the lights and open the curtains, if not for that I'm totally fine with it because I like to stay in hostels. But the nurses will open all the curtains to check on the patients easier when they do their rounds. So the fourth day before I do my discharge, the lactation specialist help me to squeeze my nipples, fucking pain I swear. And after being exposed your vagina, having to pee in front of another nurse before you can remove the cathedral, and then exposing your tits, anything else worse in motherhood being exposed like that? My boobs was so clogged it was that the first day after I went home, I was so overwhelmed with taking care of the baby and the pain of my boobs and wound that I broke down. I had to pump every 3 hours.

A very unglam photo of me like don't give a fuck face anymore.

And my precious mini newborn, so tiny at 2.997kg. So everybody says she looks like me.

And I slept with her at night. Too cute. Such a little mini thing being so attached to you. Damn.

First week home. Started her monster crying. Really hungry for food 24/7. Sleepless nights. Waking up every 3 hours to feed, 1 hour to pump milk, less than 1 hour to sleep, and the whole shit starts again. Sleepless nights. Didn't had money to hire confinement lady, so my mom helped. Gave her a very small angbao at the end of the whole thing. And we did morning and night shift, basically my mom helped me most of the time, bathing, cooking, taking care of the baby, feeding.

Going to the polyclinic for jaundice check.

And this is her I am hungry want to suck neh neh face. 24/7

These tiny little feet.

Have saved up around $100-200 for the newborn shoot, but then again the really good ones are like $500-800. And paying that kind of money for a good photo is like, not very practical, plus I still have to do family shoot and also 1 month shoot.

Am very lucky my mom helped me with the settings while I took a really nice shot of her.

So this is her one week old, we DIY-ed everything and the baby bathtub sponsored from Bzu-bzu. Am glad to save lots of money because I think this shot is quite professional, and I'm quite proud I captured such a nice photo for her. Behind the scenes was really tough tho, trying to pacify an annoyed baby (lucky my mum is a baby whisperer), and also having no aircon in my room sweating like fuck bending up and down taking tons of pictures when i'm just 1 week post op.

Will do anything for this lovely girl.

She grew a lot, now 4+kg within a month.

And a fat unglam side. Everyday eat and shit, how can not fat? Now got double chin already which is good. Fat is cute and healthy. Previously newborn was so fragile and scared she would fall sick easily. Mommy will buy as many milk powder and diapers for you as long as you can eat and grow healthily.

And family photo. Don't let that innocent looks deceive you. This is when all hell breaks loose.

And another cute innocent face at one month old.

DAMN.

Ending it with a baby photo of me, so does she really look like me? 

So for finances wise, mine was under subsidized at KKH. 

My pre-delivery expenses (check-ups and all) was $1k+ : refunded via cheque after delivery and deducted from husband's medisave.

Delivery expenses and baby: 4k+ deducted from husband's medisave.

Paid around 300-500 for miscellaneous checks for down syndrome as well as pre pregnancy checks for HIV, hepatitis and diseases etc at early stage pregnancy.

So total around 5k paid by medisave. And do you have 5k in your medisave? At least if you worked for one year...

And what do I get for having a baby? Besides the recovery downtime and pain,

11k Baby bonus from the govt (3k till 2022 if i'm not wrong for covid- period born babies)

1k from my current company

5 months of maternity leave

3k for CDA (another 3k matching if you top up before 12 years old) - what i advise is don't top up and use the money to invest for at least 12 years.. This CDA can be use to pay for polyclinic and childcare

3-4k medisave for baby.

POSB has the best interest for CDA. 

So basically for baby's cot, wet wipes diapers etc, a lot of them was blessed to me by other mommies, i'm very fortunate by that, even milk bottles are brand new, some i bought from taobao. Am glad I didn't buy haenim uv sterilizer, $200+ her daddy insisted on getting that and not from taobao, but steam sterilizer blessed by others works fine. Our parents generation didn't even have expensive pumps like spectra or stuff, or hegen bottles that costs like $20-30+. Clothes from mothercare (got to admit good quality tho) and branded strollers. So it really depends on your lifestyle..

If I were to be pregnant again, what can be saved, what cannot be saved?

WOW. I would definitely get a confinement lady. This is a must as my parents are old, and it is tough taking care of the baby when you're healing. Mentally, physically, emotionally..

Herbal bath, I got it cheap from shopee, confinement herbs I got it $238 from Hock hua, didn't like the medicine taste but I drank every bit of it. I still went out 1-2 times during confinement, secretly for movie dates. Can say my back still hurts sometimes from overwork, bending down, and my physical energy not as much and active as pre-pregnancy but it's definitely not because of the epidural, I created a baby in 10months, definitely my body needs rest and time to get back in shape. Don't let anyone affect your mental health, it's ok to be fat now, but not forever. Positive energy is also very important post-recovery. 

And happy to say! I'VE SURVIVED THE ONE MONTH CONFINEMENT.

HAPPY ONE MONTH MY DEAREST XINXIN!

AND FML, TO MANY MORE MONTHS TO BE A SLAVE TO THIS MONSTER GIRL.

MOMMY AND DADDY LOVES YOU.